Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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