OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
