i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
