Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
