My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize
