And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
