so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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