I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i came on her dog
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
