would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
