1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
