I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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