just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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