I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
