I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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