we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
