we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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