He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
no, he came in my armpit
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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