I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
