Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
