are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
