Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
