Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
