apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
