Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
