If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
