We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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