She's JV to your varsity
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
