who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
