You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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