They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
