Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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