you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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