I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
