is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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