he puts the penis in happiness.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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