he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
