Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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