Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
