I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
