You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
