Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
