ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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