ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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