god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
