Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
