We won't sleep together?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
