My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
