Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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