i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
