that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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