so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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