Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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